Perhaps no one has noticed, but it’s been two months since I’ve taken the time to add anything to my blog. Two months to the day, in fact. That’s the longest I’ve gone without posting anything since I began blogging about 19 months ago. And you know what they say: if you don’t use it, you lose it. So here I am. Using it!! But not just in terms of this blog. I suppose the leading factor in why I haven’t been writing as much is that I’ve been using this time to get my shit together. I’ve been staying productive at work (which obviously isn’t happening right now)… I’ve been making big life decisions… I’ve been moving on… And falling in love. That’s right, I’m finally learning to use my heart again (and it feels oh, so good).
The internet is not a place where I like to spend too much time. But of course it is where I’ve felt encouraged to write and share my musings. As I’ve said before, this blog has helped me get through a very difficult time which has inevitably lead to a tremendous transformation; I feel stronger and more aware of myself than ever before. And the internet, despite my avoidance, is also where I happen to have found someone who fills my life with more joy than I’ve ever known. Thank you, technology! I’ll never be able to understand you, or how it is that you’re able to do so much for me. But dammit if you didn’t deliver the person of my dreams right to the rectangular thing that lights up and does things when I push buttons! Forgive me for cursing you at times.
Yes, thanks to the internet, I’ve been able to move on and find love. Like, the real stuff that I talk about in other posts (https://afinemessasthis.wordpress.com/2013/10/02/if-food-is-love-then/) and have wondered whether it would ever exist for me (https://afinemessasthis.wordpress.com/2014/04/11/stroll/). Guess what folks, IT DOES!!!! Which just goes to show, no matter how downtrodden and lonely you might feel, as long as there is at least a sliver of hope left inside of you, love can exist for you, too. (Also, you might have to be willing to go through several really bad dates with complete strangers who look nothing like the photos they’ve posted and do not resemble their too-good-to-be-true profiles because, well, none of it is true. But hang in there!)
It’s funny how being with someone can bring you closer to your self. It’s also funny how little your self matters when you are with the right someone. Finally, I am with the right someone. I can’t say enough good things about him or how he makes me feel. And better yet, as someone who was married for almost 13 years and is now divorced (because his ex-wife is a fool), he not only knows what to expect within a relationship (and what not to expect), but he’s willing to put in the sweat and moxy. He’s willing to accept me for me, the good and the bad. He’s prepared for winter (https://afinemessasthis.wordpress.com/2014/04/23/allseasonlove/) and offers me the kind of all seasons love I’ve been scavenging for.
So thank you, technology and thank you, internet. They say you are nothing more than math and science. But I say you are part magic, as well.