Blow Your House Down

Some days are just more of the same. A repeat of yesterday’s troubles. The same challenges. The same let downs. The same uncertainty you can’t seem to sequester. Some days are so damn hard you can’t muster the strength to face the next one without a trace of apathy and misanthropy. Some days, most days lately, I wonder at the tragedy of it all. I wonder how it is that anyone could ever feel hopeful about the world. Not when life for so many is at the expense of someone else’s happiness. Not when the choices some people make are motivated by fear and hatred. And not when all that fear and all that anger hits so close to home. Right in your home. It is then when you can feel the walls splintering all that surrounds you, the air twisting and twirling every last bit of innocence into oblivion. It is then when you just wish the world would stop. Disappear. Fade away to nothing, along with everything but what you know of love. Not what has merely disguised itself as love. But, rather, pure love.

And this I have known only with my kids. They are everything to me and I will stop at nothing to protect them. I recognize a wolf when I see one and I’ve even been forced to share a roof with some. No huffing and puffing required. These wolves have just walked right in, done as they pleased, and stolen what wasn’t theirs for the taking. Those evil, self-serving bastards. What right do they have to lure away someone else’s innocence? What right have they to convince a child to do grown up things while cloaked in sheepskin? If, by some miracle, there is a firey pit called hell where transgressors go to be punished once they leave this world, it would please me to know that these miscreants, members of my own family, will be getting what they deserve. And if, more than likely in my opinion, such a place does not exist, then I do like to think that the Universe has a way of evening the score while teaching us all the lessons we’ve yet to master. Sometimes I think sudden death would be the best anecdote yet for such troubled individuals. What purpose have they in this world anyway? Could any of the good they do possibly outweigh all of the harmful, despicable things they do too? Furthermore, how is it possible that I could be related to such scum of the Earth? People who could even think about taking advantage of a child and using them to fulfill some perverse fantasy. What the fuck is wrong with the world that this could even be a reality? And why must I be a part of it?

I guess I’m just feeling a little unsettled about things today.

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