I can’t help but feed into the contradiction.
I can’t stop from destroying all that was beautiful.
Between you and I,
too many secrets shared.
So I heave them into the unknown,
bury them under my feet far below.
And upon what was felt and what seemed real,
I build a fence for my garden.
I lie there, upon the dirt;
arms outstretched, face peeled before the sun.
Its light burns into my skin
all the remorse,
I labor to forget.
But I remember the longing
growing like vines
that have long surrounded my abode;
each disappointment reminiscent of home.
I remember the ache in my soul.
I sink deeper and deeper into the Earth,
wishing to undo all of my wrongs.
But soon to come a heavy rain fall and
I am restored to the surface again–
Forced to face the light;
forced to feel it sear into my bones
only to return to blackness.