…when I finally do find love again, I won’t be settling for no Splenda love. I want synthetic-free love. I don’t want margarinized, watered down skim love. Give me full-fat, gristle and all love. I want spicy love. Give me acidic, heartburn inducing love, so long as it’s followed by some soothing, calcium rich love. I want whipped cream with a cherry on top love. I don’t care how hungry I get or how much of a sweet tooth; I will not confuse something that’s artificially sweet for something that genuinely tastes good. I’ve tried enough phony substitutes to know by the nasty aftertaste that when something promises to be good for me, I should always trust my taste buds. Written in the fine print, sugar stand-ins reveal their potential to cause health problems including cancer. No thanks!