Bread and Butterflies

People change, grow, and adapt at varying levels and differing rates. What makes a person right for us at one interval of life may fade with time; at which point we move on, find someone new.
But when do we finally stop and say, “Hey – Maybe it’s not that this person isn’t ‘right’ for me. Maybe the reason this relationship isn’t working has less to do with who I’m with than why I’m with them. What drew us together? And what is really driving us apart? What are the underlying factors contributing to our inability to relate with one another? After all, this is someone I love and trust more than anyone. So why the break down?”
In order to really see a person you must envision them within the context of their own lives, not just in the context of yours. Most people aren’t willing or able to do this. They interpret your actions as a personal attack, not a means of self-defense. They interpret your pain as something they’ve caused or their pain as something you caused. When really we continue to feel the pain incurred from every injury that’s not been properly healed over.
So I think, what makes a person “right” for another is having the ability to resolve old conflicts, to heal old wounds within the context of the relationship while acknowledging the fact that old patterns may begin to resurface. But the RIGHT person will have the patience and compassion to understand what you’re going through and what you’re trying to overcome. The right person sees your struggle and allows you the time and space needed to dry your wings off and begin taking flight.

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